This has to be the first time I’ve used a French word on the blog title two days in a row. And I don’t even speak French!
I was browsing an article on Huff Post yesterday (click picture above for link), and this word jumped out above the others. Depaysement sums up how I feel right now living in Boston. Sure, I have buddies who share my likes and values. But there’s just something about living so far away from my roots, my family and close friends, that at times makes me feel like an outsider.
In my normal day to day life, I am mostly happy and unconcerned about this admittedly unimportant first world problem. But then something will happen, like today when we are visiting with some of our closest friends, and the inner turmoil of my heart will ache acutely.
It’s like when you’re a kid and you hurt yourself. At first you try to be brave and hold it together; then you notice your mom saw you fall, and suddenly it’s a struggle not to cry.
When I’m missing my home, all the news of the day is viewed through a funnel aimed directly at the gaping hole of loneliness.
The local swimming hole closes in August? That would never happen at home.
Get pulled over by a state troopah while barely speeding? That would never happen at home.
It doesn’t matter whether the thoughts are factually accurate. Truth is in the heart of the beholder. You can’t argue with a feeling. It’s a state of mind, not a state of address. Only time will tell, but for today, I’m happy to be having some big hugs and big laughs with some of our favorite people.