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Vivisms, vol 24

Picking her up at camp…

Vivi: Mommy, I had fun and didn’t miss you.


Vivi: This one is not the same as this one.

Me: Oh?

Vivi: I’m not talking to you, Mommy, I’m talking to myself.

Vivi: I don’t like bulls. They’re too horny. (get it? horn-y?)

Me: Come here please so I can put this spray on you.

Vivi: But Mommy, I don’t need to wear any bug scream! (I am going to Proctor & Gamble with this new title, which is clearly superior to "insect spray").

Me: Please eat your oatmeal. I’m eating mine too.

Vivi: And I’m eating mine three!

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