Friday, May 03, 2013

leaning in to road rage

I am writing a post about the fifth birthday party scene, but I must pause first and tell you separately what happened to me yesterday. I've begun listening to Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead while I carpool the kids to various shindigs, and it gives me a nice pep talk in the car. Some parts I disagree with (e.g. "50% of men should stay home with their children." What the what? Do we really want a society in which this happens? Just, no.), but I am enjoying her anecdotes from the workplace. She describes many incidents in which women colleagues demur for no apparent reason at all or are shushed by men when trying to speak. I have definitely politely demurred to men in my office. But no more! Watch out world, another feminist is being let loose.

So I'm having another pep talk on the way to school yesterday morning, and I'm pondering the ways in which I put myself second on a regular basis. Bear with me while I set the scene, I am going somewhere. To get to Vivi's school, I drive from one exit to the next on a little access road that follows our highway. It's a quick drive down this access road and gets me to my destination a full 3-4 minutes faster than the back roads, and the only minor annoyance is when I meet with the ramp coming off the highway. The access road has two lanes, and I use the left lane because I make a left turn at the exit. The ramp off the highway also feeds into this left lane, and because I am already in the lane and there is no yield sign, I assume I have the right-of-way. Note that when I am the one coming down the ramp, I slow way down and make sure no one is already in that lane before I merge. But most a$$holes do not do this slow-down maneuver. Instead, they barrel through at the same speed they were driving on the highway and expect you to slow or swerve out of their way.

But today, Reader, I did not demur. I saw a big honkin' truck coming down the ramp, but I continued on my merry way ahead of him, chin held high, blaring Sheryl Sandburg at full volume. This man did not want to yield and continued playing chicken for a minute, but I knew he saw me and would slow down eventually. But Oh ho ho! What I didn't know is that he would then lay on his horn, swerve into the right lane, roll his window down (this was a nice morning so we all had windows down), and scream--in plain view of my two small innocent lambs--"Learn how to drive, BITCH!" and THEN cut me off and slam on his brakes.

Reader, it was at this exact minute that I had an epiphany.

The road is not the place to lean in. There are, in fact, probably lots of locations where it's wise--for either safety or sanity's sake--to step back and let the boys do their thang. Even if their thang happens to be screaming at pretty ladies on the highway. From now on, I'll be taking my Sandburg in smaller doses, and never on the highway.

Have you read her book yet? What did you think? If you're a woman, do you feel like you demur to men's opinions or their place at the table? I think I do, but I'm not sure it's such a bad thing. I mean, they need the big piece of chicken, right? Let's chat about this stuff, ladies.

I have no photo to go with this post, so here's me showing my bud the b-day party tie-dye battle scars.


Momn said...

Oh for goodness sake ! Remember this mantra while driving " I will forget these trivial events in minutes " and never again wage this kind of war . Always drive defensively. Only idiots and people with social issues drive like idiots with social issues ...and that is certainly not you . Take that CD back to the library .

Thank you for not posting a picture of me with the bad hair day(s) .

The Lone Home Ranger said...

I kind of figured this post would get a response from you, but who could have known the one person I stood up to would be so stark raving mad? I wouldn't exactly call staying at speed in my lane "war," but I also don't have plans to stand my ground again. Bostonians be trippin'.

Naomi said...

Justine, I'm about a third into Lean In and I'm really enjoying it. I find it super empowering and really refreshing. I realize it's just one perspective and not everyone can be Sheryl Sandburg, but it's a nice contrast to what I'm used to hearing about women, motherhood, and work.

The Lone Home Ranger said...

Naomi! I agree with you. I hold your reading recommendations in high esteem, so I'm going to keep at this one. Now that I'm thinking about it, I should do another post with my summer reading list, and you can give me your top picks.

sarah saad said...

اهم شركات نقل العفش والاثاث بالدمام والخبر والجبيل اولقطيف والاحساء والرياض وجدة ومكة المدينة المنورة والخرج والطائف وخميس مشيط وبجدة افضل شركة نقل عفش بجدة نعرضها مجموعة الفا لنقل العفش بمكة والخرج والقصيم والطائف وتبوك وخميس مشيط ونجران وجيزان وبريدة والمدينة المنورة وينبع افضل شركات نقل الاثاث بالجبيل والطائف وخميس مشيط وبريدة وعنيزو وابها ونجران المدينة وينبع تبوك والقصيم الخرج حفر الباطن والظهران
شركة نقل عفش بالرياض
شركة نقل عفش بالطائف
شركة نقل عفش بالدمام
شركة نقل عفش بجدة
شركة نقل عفش بمكة
شركة نقل عفش بالمدينة المنورة
شركة نقل عفش بينبع
شركة نقل عفش ببريدة
شركة نقل عفش بالخرج
شركة نقل عفش بالقصيم
شركة نقل عفش بخميس مشيط
شركة نقل عفش بتبوك
شركة نقل عفش بابها
شركة نقل عفش بنجران
شركة نقل عفش بحائل
شركة نقل عفش بالظهران

sarah saad said...

شركة نقل عفش واثاث
شركة نقل عفش
اهم شركات كشف تسربات المياه بالدمام كذلك معرض اهم شركة مكافحة حشرات بالدمام والخبر والجبيل والخبر والاحساء والقطيف كذكل شركة تنظيف خزانات بجدة وتنظيف بجدة ومكافحة الحشرات بالخبر وكشف تسربات المياه بالجبيل والقطيف والخبر والدمام
شركة تنظيف خزانات بجدة
شركة مكافحة حشرات بالدمام
شركة كشف تسربات المياه بالدمام


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