I've done it. I made a choice to stay home with the girls until at least this fall. Ok, so maybe it doesn't sound as monumental once I write it down, but you wouldn't have thought so based on the way I agonized over the decision. And the result? I'm having fun! Vivi is a riot, and Charlotte is as serene as they come--she provides our daily reminder to relax and enjoy life's simple pleasures. A typical day doesn't include much more than a couple of wardrobe changes, meals, and a nap here or there, but somehow it's enough to keep me happy...for now.
And I admit, there are moments in my day where I feel like this woman, who yelled at her kids after they ate goldfish crackers she had willingly served them (more on that later). As in any job, there are always times when I feel like the only grown-up in the room...except this time I actually am. Just as often, I think I might be behaving like the biggest baby. But I try to remember how precious and short this time will be when they are babies who rely on me for loving care and guidance. All too soon I will send them into the world to live their lives apart from me, so for now I am enjoying the closeness we share.
My friend Caroline, also the mom of an infant, showed me this great website from which the link above comes. It's called the "Momoir Project" and offers a place for moms to take writing classes and post stories about raising their children. The thing I miss most while staying home with the girls, apart from daily grooming of course, is having an outlet for creative thinking, constructive adult conversations, and even mindless chatter. So I'm going to take Caroline's suggestion and try writing. Along with private journaling, I'll also use my blog when I've got something creative, constructive...and often mindless...to say. And maybe I'll even post a picture or two. I hope you enjoy it, whoever you are.